Caregiver burnout: straight answers
Is it normal to resent caring for a parent?
Resentment can sit right next to love. Feeling it doesn't make you a bad daughter or son.
Cleveland Clinic says: “Having negative feelings — like frustration or anger about your responsibilities or the person you care for — is normal. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or a bad caregiver.”
You can love your parent and still resent what caring for them has taken: your evenings, your plans, your patience. The two can sit side by side, and feeling one doesn’t cancel the other.
What it’s often about
Resentment usually has an address. It’s being the one everyone calls. It’s the sibling who lives nearby and doesn’t come. It’s a life on hold, or help that was promised and didn’t arrive. Knowing what yours is about can make it easier to change one thing.
- If it’s about doing it all yourself: how to ask family for help, and keeping siblings updated so the work is visible.
- If it’s about never getting a break: respite care.
- If it’s about work: time off under the FMLA.
If it feels like a lot to carry, talking to someone can help, and it doesn’t have to wait for a crisis. You can call or text 988 at any hour, free: more places to talk.
More questions caregivers ask
- What is caregiver burnout?
- How do I ask family for help with caregiving?
- Where can a caregiver talk to someone?
- All the caregiver burnout questions
From Centis, a free care notebook you talk to. None of this is medical or legal advice.
Further reading
- Caregiver Burnout (opens in a new tab), from the Cleveland Clinic
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (opens in a new tab), from the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
- Sharing Caregiving Responsibilities (opens in a new tab), from the National Institute on Aging (US National Institutes of Health)