When siblings don't help with an aging parent
How can a sibling who lives far away help?
With the work that doesn't need someone in the room: finances, paperwork, calls and research. The Family Caregiver Alliance calls it indirect care.
The Family Caregiver Alliance says: “Assistance with errands, finances, legal work or other indirect care may be the best option for some family members.”
From a distance, a sibling can
- Pay bills and keep track of insurance.
- Handle calls: the pharmacy, the insurance company, scheduling appointments.
- Research local help where the parent lives: the Eldercare Locator, 1-800-677-1116, is a place to start.
- Come and stay for a few days, so the local caregiver can have a real break.
- Call the parent regularly, and the caregiver too.
It works best when the sibling far away knows what’s happening. A regular update from the one nearby, ending with what still needs doing, helps: how to keep siblings updated about a parent’s health.
More questions caregivers ask
- How do siblings split caregiving for a parent?
- My siblings won't help with our parent. What can I do?
- How do we hold a family meeting about a parent's care?
- All the questions
From Centis, a free care notebook you talk to. Practical notes, with the Family Caregiver Alliance’s own words where they’re quoted.
Further reading
- Caregiving and sibling relationships: challenges and opportunities (opens in a new tab), from the Family Caregiver Alliance
- Eldercare Locator (opens in a new tab), from the US Administration for Community Living