When siblings don't help with an aging parent
What if siblings disagree about a parent's care?
Expect it. The Family Caregiver Alliance suggests accepting differences of opinion, looking for compromise, and bringing in an outside facilitator.
The Family Caregiver Alliance suggests:
- “Accept siblings for who they are and expect differences of opinion.”
- “Try to respect other’s perceptions and find opportunities to compromise.”
- “Express your feelings honestly and directly.”
When it’s stuck, it suggests a family meeting with an outside facilitator, because “a trusted outside party can ensure that everyone’s voice is heard”: how to hold one.
Disagreements about medical choices belong with your parent and their doctors. Who can hear what from those doctors is covered in talking to a parent’s doctor: what HIPAA allows.
More questions caregivers ask
- How do we hold a family meeting about a parent's care?
- Is it normal to resent a sibling who doesn't help?
- How do siblings split caregiving for a parent?
- All the questions
From Centis, a free care notebook you talk to. Practical notes, with the Family Caregiver Alliance’s own words where they’re quoted.
Further reading
- Caregiving and sibling relationships: challenges and opportunities (opens in a new tab), from the Family Caregiver Alliance
- Holding a Family Meeting (opens in a new tab), from the Family Caregiver Alliance